amazed

i am amazed at what i don't know that i know. writing shows me. story reveals. it is never more easy for me to see than when i suddenly comprehend what my inner self was trying to say when it spilled a story onto the page.

i am listening to the tracks (one a day) as they come in from the studio out in LA - the audio tracks (or stories) i recently recorded from my collection, Surviving Nashville. they surprise me. i wrote them and yet i dont remember figuring them out - planning them - deciding what they might "be about" and yet as i hear my own voice speaking i find myself surprised that small words worked together to say intricate things.

at the same time i am reworking the end of my novella per my editor's request. i was also talking to a few friends recently about the quality and nature and origin of love. somehow, as i wrote words for the ending this morning, those two conversations merged. i realized that the novella manuscript is me telling myself what i need to hear, what i hope is true, what i long to believe.

i find that amazing.